One Quiet Morning

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost
The Road Not Taken

Conjunction Conjunction, What's Your Function?

It was a(nother) cold and rainy night as we drove through the streets of a Columbus suburb.

Christian: "What really freaks me out are old ladies who are bald-headed like Grampa."

And Gaby chimed in: "Or old lady BUTTS! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!" (Gaby's favorite word is still 'butts'.)

Jojo's song ended our drive home: "Butts! Butts! Butts!"

P.S. Anytime we read stories, they never miss the conjunction 'but'.

P.P.S. I'm beginning to wonder if the hearts on Gaby's graffiti bathroom drawings were actually butts, not hearts.

Woller Wink

Last night the boys' school had a skate party at the local rink.  They have never skated before, and I hadn't gone in over 20 years. But I pressed on and rented skates for each of us. 

It was comical, really.  People around us were chuckling as they saw me trying to control squirmy Jojo and Gaby who kept falling on their popos as I tried to keep from falling on mine.  Jojo's feet had a mind of their own; it was as if he was trying to to walk instead of uncontrollably rolling. Christian made it to the wall of the rink and hung on for dear life. 

Gaby, Jojo, and I finally made it safely to the wall of the rink.  I had forgotten how to balance on my skates nor did I have much control over myself, much less two boys, and thought of Wile E. Coyote on his ACME skates.

It took me one trip around the rink to wise up and take off those rolling shoes of terror.  I was able to walk the boys around.  After about an hour, Gaby and Jojo had more control over their skates.  Gaby and Christian went by themselves around the rink while holding on to the wall, and Jojo and I went around the rink by ourselves.  No broken bones, only torn jean knees for Gaby.

It really was fun!  We were all sweating and tired after a couple hours, but we hope to go again.  I wish I'd had my camera, though. The image of Jojo's feet and legs scrambling beneath him in the tiny pair of skates is something I'll never forget.

Clean Up on Aisle E13

I woke up one morning to find Gaby in the kitchen "reading" the newspaper while drinking apple juice from a favorite snowman mug. I realized there was much that has happened over the past few months that I hadn't reported on. I've had time over these past few months to reflect on many things and feel blessed that I am now on a more even -- if that's the right description -- path. I don't feel so out of whack anymore and that is a good thing.

The last year has been quite surprising and upsetting, but ended up being so good.  We live in a suburb of Columbus, OH and the kids -- all of us -- are very happy.  Mike has a job he enjoys working for a company that values family, and he travels quite a bit.  After the last two awful experiences in his career, he feels lucky to have this job. He marvels at the number of employees who have been with this company 20, 30, or even 40 years in a part of the country where there are other jobs available.  However, going through the awfulness and despair of having to leave my parents yet again, 15 years later and with my own children who they miss terribly, was sad.

In June, right after my mom finished her radiation treatments, she and my dad drove with me and the kids to OH.  I was not looking forward to dropping off the boys at Nana and Papa's house in TN because I knew it would be sad, but no visible tears were shed.  My parents and I sorted through boxes while Mike travelled that week.  One night at dinner Mom reflected, "I didn't feel sad when we left the children because they were happy and I knew they were in good hands." That was the first time she shed tears through all her bravery and turmoil of the past months.  Some of you may read this and think I am a melodramatic soul, but I love my parents deeply.  Being so close to them these past few years was good.  Mothers want their children to know who they are, especially their experiences and lives before we knew them simply as 'Mom'.  We learn about our fathers through their actions, and if we're lucky, through the stories they share.

We live in a neighborhood that is filled with children who play OUTSIDE and who run from house to house (usually ours) to play. The boys have fun hunting for bugs, playing with their toys, and riding bikes.  We have all taken up bicycle riding as we live in a cycle friendly neighborhood.  We've also attached a bicycle seat for Jojo for longer rides. The boys have an idyllic life filled with much less T.V. and Wii, and much more healthy outdoor activities.  Maybe it's the summer climate here with more moderate temperatures that keeps kids outdoors.  Whatever it is, it's wonderful. 

The downside is dealing with some of the more "rough around the edges" kids -- the ones who demand food and drink and/or who don't clean up and/or who invite themselves to dinner and/or who wander in our house when the kids are all outside.  Mike has had talks with the kids and made it clear what our rules are when they are in our house, and the "Miss Manners" in me has been slavishly reminding kids of "please" and "thank you" or "ask first before taking". 

My wonderful mother-in-law got the ball rolling with Jojo's long overdue potty training this summer.  I think she is the Potty Whisperer because she also successfully trained Christian.  After eight years of diapers and boy messes and being in my 40s, I'm just about out of patience when it comes to dealing with the potty.  I think Gaby really wore me out!  We've not known of too many boys who marked their territory as Gaby did in the most unexpected places (toy boxes, for one).  While Jojo has some accidents, as he did on aisle E13 at the local Target, I know we are on our way to getting where he needs to be soon.

Christian and Gabriel started school last week!  Christian is in 2nd grade and Gaby is in kindergarten.  Gaby is on an alternating two-day per week and three-day per week schedule.  After his first day of kindergarten last week Gaby told me, "I made a fwend at school and his name is Weagan. I asked him if he would be my fwend fow-evah and evah and he said, 'yes.'"

Christian walks Gaby to his class now. This morning we walked to school and Gabriel told me that I did not need to walk him inside because his big brother could take him to his class.  Christian is a good big brother who watches out for Gaby. 

Here are a few things we've been up to this summer:

Celebrating Dad's 70th birthday in June! He was surprised, and all his kids and grandkids made it to Albuquerque.

Christian did not like being seen in the "baby seat" of the bicycle we rented in Indianapolis.

Christian tries on an Amish hat

Having lunch with Nana, Uncle Jimmy, and David in Tennessee

At the TN fair riding ponies with Papa

Celebrating Christian's 8th birthday with a special cake that Nana ordered

Simone is a "Grampa's Girl"

Christian with his new pet firebelly frogs called Jumpy and Climby

Every few days Christian finds crickets outside to feed his pets

One Last Sin, Father...

Señor

dame paciencia

pero damela

URGENTEMENTE

Hanging on my walls are ceramics that I've picked up in Spain.  The above message is on a tile which hangs at the foot of the stairs in the house.  Translation: "Lord, give me patience, but give it to me NOW."  I think that I am the mother to three boys because I've constantly prayed for patience throughout my life. Sometimes prayers are answered in ways unexpected.  Instead of being given the grace of patience, I gave birth to three boys within four years to show me how to attain this virtue.  At least that's what I think.  Either that or God has a sense of humor.

The night before I went to Ohio to visit Mike I tried for the second or third time to go to Confession.  I was panicked because it was overdue and I had not had Communion for close to six weeks. At our church, you have to arrive 30 minutes before Confession to wait in line, and so I brought the boys with me because I had no other choice.  I was leaving on a flight the next day and a) I hate flying, b) I didn't want to die in flight without having a last Confession, and c) I was determined to get it done.  The other times I had attempted to go the last penitent was either a person or two ahead of me in line.  Sometimes I wish the priest would just pop his head out and look at the line of psyched-up, just-let-me-get-this-over-with people and take pity on us by allowing a few minutes extra.  I always seem to get stuck behind the person who hasn't been to Confession in years and who takes an extra five precious minutes or so.  That's why I write a list so I'm prepared.  Then I burn it or shred it.  I also have my handy Act of Contrition card that, for the life of me, I can't seem to memorize.

But, oh, how difficult it is to contemplate my sins, pray, and find that quiet place in my mind to focus when three boys are running between pews.  This day I had to leave the line several times to stop Jojo from standing on the pew while reaching over the row ahead of him.  I had to stop Gaby from bothering Jojo.  I had to ask Christian numerous times to stay still in one spot so his brothers would do the same.  But then Gaby would get too close to Christian and Christian would scoot further away from him and me.  Or he would sneak around the pew behind him to hide from his brothers.  Everyone in line got to enjoy this circus.

But then Jojo, who is going through the way-worse-than-twos stage at the age of three and is quite stubborn decided to stand on the pew once again and reach over to the pew in front of him. I gave him another warning.  Only this time he slipped and fell onto the hard floor flat on his back. How he did not hit his head I do not know.  There was an audible gasp from the line of people.  When I went to Jojo he was lying there looking straight up at the ceiling with a stunned expression.  He started to wail when I picked him up and I carried him back to my place in line.  I whispered loudly to Christian and Gaby to sit still! hush! see what happened?! stop it! enough!

Finally, the priest arrived and we were about 6th in line.  A thought struck me: why doesn't anyone ahead of me see my struggles and offer to let me go ahead of them?  Maybe they were in the same boat, though.  Maybe they too had tried to make a Confession before and missed getting in by one or two people and hell if they were going to lose their place in line! I can't blame them.  But still, I was annoyed and frustrated.

We made it to the front of the line, and when the lady ahead of me came out of the confessional, I instructed Gaby and Christian to wait right outside of the booth as I went in with Jojo.  I was afraid Jojo would hurt himself, and I didn't trust his brothers to watch him.

I quickly knelt down with Jojo beside me in front of the screen.

Father:  "How old is your child?"

Me:  "He's three."

Father: "Can he understand anything you are about to confess?"

Me: "No.  His older brothers are waiting outside."

Father: "Go ahead with your confession."

Me: "Bless me Father, I have sinned...it's been two months since my last confession..."

About 30 seconds later I blurted out all sins. What a relief! But still, I was annoyed and feeling angry at my kids.

Father: "Why didn't you attempt to make a confession earlier?"

Me: "I did try once or twice before...." and I explained what happened.  Still, no excuse for not trying harder.

My sins were absolved and penance given.  I made my Act of Contrition and it was then that Jojo decided to add his two cents worth. I'm sure he was fascinated by the stranger's voice coming through the screen.

Me:  "Oh My God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee.."

JoJo, with face fairly close to the screen:  "And I want to go to Chuck E. Cheese!"

Me, pulling Jojo closer to me: "...Who art all good and ..."

Jojo, struggling away from me, louder: "And we go to the park!"

Me, struggling with Jojo, louder: "I firmly resolve..."

Jojo, with face mashed against the screen: "We go to Chuck E. Cheese!"

Me: "...to avoid the near occasions of sin. Amen.  Oh, one more confession Father: I'm real angry with these kids and I have no patience with them." 

Father was gracious, although I detected a little impatience in his voice.  Oh, if he only knew what I'd just been through maybe he'd understand.  Or, maybe the priest had been praying for patience and this was one of those teaching moments God likes to send our way.

All the Children

While Christian had soccer practice, the boys played at the playground on a typical windy March day.  Among all the screaming, laughing children was a lone figure named Ramona standing high up on the jungle gym.  The children ran around her to climb down the bars or slide down the slides.  Ramona was unsure what to do.  I remember I'd seen her before; she's a middle aged woman with the mentality of a shy child.

Gabriel complained that he couldn't find a friend to play with.  I told him to go ask someone to play with him.  It's so much fun watching how the kids interact with each other.  Finally, Gaby found another boy and he sidled up to him.  They stood shoulder to shoulder and Gaby turned to him slightly as he muttered, "Hi. I'm Gay-bee-ole." Gaby didn't look directly at him, but past the boy in hopes that he had found a friend.  Gaby's eyes were wide with anticipation, but no worries.  The boy gave his name and they were fast friends, two peas in a pod climbing up the bars together and chasing each other.

As I waited for Jojo to take his turn on the slide, Ramona gleefully slid down and as with any other child I enthusiastically said, "Whee! Oooh, you went down fast!"  Ramona stuck out her hand and introduced herself.  She spoke to me in both Spanish and English.  "Look what I have," and she pulled out her cell phone.  It was time for Ramona to leave.  I wondered, where are her parents?  And then I realized her parents must be very old or maybe even deceased.

I hope we meet again.

Teacher's Pet(s)

Last week, Jojo and Gaby started their first year of preschool.  Jojo is with the two-year-olds and Gaby is with the four/five-year-olds.

They have backpacks, snack bags, and lunch boxes to bring each day.  I'm glad they only go twice a week. 

When I dropped them off at their classrooms, Gaby looked at me wide-eyed and said, "But I don't have any friends."  By the end of the day he had made some friends.

I dropped off Jojo at his classroom next, and while he was distracted playing with toys I left.  One poor mother was sobbing as she left.  I felt like crying, too.  But I also had a "party in my tummy" (as my nephew Anthony would say) -- I had time to breathe and get things done at home.  I now have a few free hours to study, clean house, or have a chat with a friend. 

Mike, Christian and I picked up the kids later.  Gabriel came running out and said excitedly to all within earshot, "Mommy! Mommy!  I was good today; I didn't say bad words and I didn't have to go to the principal's office!"  Christian had had a serious talk with Gabriel earlier at the bus stop; he let Gaby know what to expect at school and went over some of the rules with him.  I think Daddy had also given Gaby a stern warning, too.  When we picked up Jojo, we found him standing by the doorway, glaring at us.  He said, "You. Left. Me. He-ah."  His teacher told us he had been happy earlier, though.

Today was their second day and Jojo didn't even blink when I left.  I told him goodbye and said I'd be back soon to pick him up.  Then he ran off to play with toys.  Gaby also had a good day at school.  He tried to make a boomerang (this month they're studying Australia), but it really doesn't look like one.  He must have inherited my artistic abilities.  Gaby decided it's a truck without wheels instead and that's a pretty accurate description. Today Jojo's teacher said that Jojo covered his ears when a little girl in his class was crying.  He does not like loud noises (like Gaby).  She asked me to warn him about music class as the teacher will be playing the piano on Wednesday.  We're going to try pullups and potty training soon, and I'm so glad his teachers will help. Oh, the agony!

Blase big brother at little brother's game.

They learned how to throw the ball in.

He learned to aim for the goal.

Gaby and Christian also started soccer last week.  Gaby had his first practice and game on Saturday.  I love when they play soccer at his age! Sometimes goals are made for the other team, and the kids all run in clumps.  One thing they practiced is spacing, but it didn't always translate on the field.  Gaby was excited by the cheering and waved at Daddy while he was running on the field. Gaby's team is the Dragons and Christian plays on the Blue Magic team. 

Tennessee

We went to Tennessee two weeks ago and returned yesterday.  One of my favorite parts of the drive on I40 east to TN is crossing the Mississippi River into Memphis. My least favorite part is when you cross the Mississippi from Memphis into West Memphis, AR -- it's like cold water in your face.

I really try to take better pictures, but I'm not a photographer like Mike.  Either that or it's my camera. 

The boys love to splash around in the creek behind Nana and Papa's house.  Getting there is half the fun!

Grandpa Kenny and Karen came from Indiana to see us, too. One day, Great-Grandpa Clo (Poppy) had to check on something at the golf course, so Gaby went along for the ride and did some driving himself with Grandpa Kenny.

We had fun seeing the tractors, too!  

We went with Nana to see 'Toy Story 3' (it brought a huge lump in my throat). We also went swimming at her friend's house -- a most beautiful house on a hill.  Nana also prepared many home cooked meals and Mike and I both gained some weight!  What I love about Nana & Papa's house is the deck with her blooming flowers, the deer in the yard, and the fireflies at night ('lightnin' bugs'). 

Nana and Papa also had friends over to visit.  One night we went to Nashville to see our friends Jeff & Karen along with other old friends Bryant and Linda.  The kids had so much fun jumping on the trampoline (all three got over their fear and bounced away for most of the evening).  But what was most exciting was watching 'Meet the Robinsons' outside on the huge screen.

Last weekend Nana and Papa kept the boys so Mike and I could stay the night in Nashville.  We met up with our friends and went to Printers Alley and other fun places to hear great live music, something I've been craving for awhile.  We also got some much needed relaxation. Later that evening Mike asked me, "Do you hear that?" I said, "I don't hear anything. What is it?" And he said, "Silence." 

The Stogie Boys

 

ON THE ROAD AGAIN...

Sleepy Jojo's foot

I wish I had taken more photos of everyone.  We had a great time and can't wait to see everyone soon.  Nana and Papa will be here for the Balloon Fiesta in a couple months and we're looking forward to their visit.