Far Away

Last week we spoke with Grampa and Yaya via videophone before they left for Spain.

Christian told me, "No fair that they're going to Spain!  Can't we go?"

The boys still remember their visit two years ago.  Believe me, Spain is the first major trip we'll save for once I am working!  I miss my second home and family there.  My cousin Maria is pregnant with twins and is due anytime now (she's at 34-35 weeks gestation).  She looks great!

Cousin Alberto sent us this photo from last night.  Pictured is Rosa (Alberto's wife), Javi (Maria's husband), Maria, Alberto, Mom, Dad, Tio Alberto (my mom's brother) and Tia MaAngeles at a terraza in Madrid where I'm sure they had the best tapas.  The only one missing was Diego, Rosa and Alberto's 18 month old son.

Oe, Oe, Oe!

Here's our little Spanish cutie, Diego (with friend), cheering on the World Cup Champions!

Spain, Part III

There is a special place that has captivated all of us since we were children: La Torre. This is the house that my great-great-grandfather Ventura bought in 1865. According to the county records, we think the house is about 400 years old. It is located in Soto-Iruz in the northern province of Cantabria. No one lives in the family home; it is used during vacations and quick weekend trips by my mother's family and my Tio Alberto's family. Obviously, Tio Alberto's family uses the house much more than us.

I have often wondered who this jauntily dressed man is outside the wall of the yard and the girl leaning over from the gazebo on the other side.

Inside the house are old photos from the 1800's and early 1900's. My great-aunt Margarita, who died in 2002, would tell us stories about those relatives and could recall every story ever told to her. I took pictures of photos because there was not a place where I could scan them myself. There is also a photo album stand in the salon in which many old photos are stored, but it would be impossible to remove the faded relics without tearing the page. I wonder about some of those people in the pictures and I recall some stories I heard over the years...

My great-great grandfather Ventura went to Cuba during his teen years or early 20s and earned his wealth through a department store he owned called La Oriental - that much we know is true. There is a painting of the store which hangs in the study room.

Depending on which version I've heard, when my grandfather was in his 30s he sent for his Spanish wife - or fiance - to meet him in Havana, but somewhere during the three-month trip across the ocean she fell in love with my grandfather's attorney who was accompanying her. Either she arrived pregnant or never arrived at all because she ran off with the attorney never to be heard from again.

So, great-great-grandfather Ventura decided at the age of 40 to marry his 20-year-old niece - yes, his niece - Antonia in Spain after selling his business in Cuba. It was 1865 when he bought La Torre. Together he and Antonia had three boys and a girl. The oldest was our great-grandfather (Ventura), Angel, Vicente, and Belinda. The three brothers stayed in Soto and our grandfather Ventura inherited La Torre. Angel and Vicente each built houses in the village and raised their families. My aunt went to another province after marrying and contact with that branch of the family faded. The sons, although trained lawyers, never worked and lived off their inheritances.

Great-great grandfather Ventura




Although the house, which sits on a hill, is known La Torre, it was actually named Villa Belinda.

After great-great-grandfather Ventura died, great-great-grandmother Antonia was widowed at the age of 40. She later met and married a Mexican diplomat (no one remembers his name) who was 15-20 years younger than she and they had one son together. The new husband went through her money and spent lavishly on parties, brought a gardener from France to design the yard, etc., etc. My grandmother MaTeresa later told my mom that he died of syphilis because of his constant cheating on Antonia. Antonia and her husband's son (whose name we also do not know) later had a son named Antonio and a daughter, Angelines. In later years, Antonio joined the foreign legion; he was a mercenary fighting wars in Africa and other places around the world. He used to show his handkerchiefs full of blood to prove injuries and beg for money from the family when he visited Madrid. He may have been 'touched in the head'.

Well, great-grandfather Ventura was still single at the age of 32-33. He purchased apartments in Madrid and had other properties. He met the daughter of Spaniards living in Cuba named Teresa and they later married. She was forever known as 'La Cubana'. My mom grew up hearing the stories of great-grandfather Ventura -- how he helped the less fortunate in the village during the very rough years during the Civil War (1936-1939) even when he lost much. People don't forget your deeds and misdeeds in a tiny village. Great-grandmother Teresa was somewhat stern and serious. They had five children: Maria Teresa (my grandmother & the oldest), Ventura, Margarita, Belinda, and Tonio.

During the Civil War the family was separated. My grandmother, MaTeresa, her mother ('La Cubana'), Tonio, who was finishing high school, and Belinda were in Madrid preparing for their summer in Soto when the war broke out between the communists in power and Franco's conservative forces. My great-grandfather had left earlier with Ventura and Margarita. The family remained separated for three years. However, La Torre became a base for the communists for a short period as it was one of the headquarters for that valley when Santander was under communist rule during the Civil War. I'll never forget the old tile, which has been replaced in the past 15 years, cracked from the horses' hooves as the troops overtook La Torre. My great-uncle Ventura rushed from La Torre to meet Francisco Franco's troops. Franco was liberating parts of Spain and was headed north where his forces eventually liberated Santander. I'll never forget awaking in the middle of the night to hear Uncle Ventura screaming in his sleep from the nightmares of the war decades later.

Another branch of our family - great-grandfather's brother, Angel's, side were leftists. Tio Antonio was living very well as a businessman in Santander when the province was under communist rule. When the Civil War ended in 1939, Antonio escaped to France, then Cuba, even to Dallas, TX and stayed away from Spain for three or four years until it was clear he could return safely. It was with this family that Tia Margarita stayed during the war, along with other cousins in a nearby village of Villasevil, as food shortages were affecting great-grandfather Ventura's ability to feed the two of them.

Abuelo and Abuela's wedding photo shortly after the end of the Civil War.



BLACK LEGEND

Many people have asked whether or not La Torre is haunted. Although I have not seen anything myself, the third floor of the house is one I do not like to stay in. It was four years ago that Uncle Alberto told me about the 'Black Legend'.

He has been at the house when unusual things have occurred, such as lights being turned on suddenly in the middle of the night when he is asleep, or hearing voices downstairs. My mother used to wait for us to come home after a night out and we would not return until 3:00 AM or later, yet she would not sleep until we returned home, and all the lights on the second floor were kept on. She said that sometimes she'd hear voices downstairs, such as the chattering of years past of her mom and aunts late at night planning the next day's activities. Friendly voices, in other words. But still, when you are alone in such a large house, it can be disconcerting. I myself have not heard voices, but that third floor has always made me uncomfortable when I am alone. The summer that Uncle Alberto told me of these experiences and of the 'Black Legend' was the first and last time I stayed on the third floor. Mike and I actually left the lights on when we slept.

The first version of the Black Legend is the story of how the previous owner of La Torre had to sell the house quickly and he committed suicide in the dining room because he was distraught over the sale.

Another version I have heard is of another (perhaps the previous owner?) killing himself in the study downstairs. I have never liked going into the study either.

Tata, who cooked for us this summer, had a few incidents: she cut her finger one time when using a pruner in her yard; she would not watch the kids without her husband the night of the Maria's wedding; she had to see a doctor about a pain in her side; and then she lost her voice one day. Out of exasperation she exclaimed, "It's this house!"

I cannot say that there is a 'bad' or 'evil' presence, but I sure wish I could hear those walls whisper -- so long as I was with others and that it happened during daylight hours.

La Torre constantly drifts in my mind and in my dreams and is a place filled with rich memories of my past and of my family's past.

Spain, Part II

When driving in rural parts of Cantabria, which is mostly rural anyway, one either runs into....

a bicycle race...

or into a herd of cattle.



Oh my, it took us at least fifteen minutes to drive around these 20 or so cows. There were at least three times that many up ahead. Mom tried to speed up the process by yelling, 'marcha!' at the cows. Gaby enjoyed the view. He rolled down his window to holler a friendly 'ayo!' at the animals while Mike snapped some photos.

My mom and I began to wonder if we should've turned right instead of left from the restaurant in Cosio. Oh, but we were laughing so hard the tears were pouring down our faces. Jaime pulled up beside us, "Are you sure we're going the right way?" We weren't sure.

The farmer (cow herder?) confirmed our fears. We were indeed going the opposite direction from Puentenansa. We had to turn around on the narrow road between these animals. In the meantime, Jaime, Dad, and Jeanne were behind us. I knew Jaime would not be amused. Mr. Zippy Dallas Driver, Outta-My-Way, Drive like the Spaniards, Horn Honking, Tailgating, Haven't Got Time for a Relaxing Country Drive with the Damn Cows brother. That's his car.

"We'll meet you in Covadonga!" he yelled at us as we turned around between cows. He got trapped by this cow and could not turn around as quickly.




This tickled me even more. Why do I take such pleasure at his grouchiness?

Spanish Dreams

We just turned from Spain, my favorite place on earth. I was away from cable tv, newspapers (for the most part), and the Internet for three weeks. And you know what? I only missed it a teensy bit.

My parents took all of us to help celebrate their upcoming 40th wedding anniversary, and we had a great reunion with my brothers, sisters-in-law, and nieces. The only one who was left behind was my nephew Anthony, who stayed with Jeanne's parents in Dallas. We also planned our trip around my cousin Maria's wedding to Javi on June 13th, which was the highlight of our visit. So much to share, and I hope you enjoy the photos and some of the stories.

Maria and Javier's Wedding

Cousins Jojo and Simone chat before leaving to 'El Convento' (Monasterio de Nuestra Senora del Soto) for the wedding.

Gaby strikes a pose in front of the hydrangeas in the yard.

Maria had every last detail down. She arranged for several buses to transport us from La Torre to the convent and later to the reception in a different village, and others were used to pick up friends and family from various hotels. This was quite a well planned production with friends and family who came from everywhere.

The beautiful bride descends the stairs.

My cousin Alberto, me, and his godson Joseph Sebastian (Jojo).

La familia

Tio Alberto, Maria, Tia MaAngeles, and Alberto.

And so we headed down the driveway....

Towards the convent...

Daniela carried the arras for the wedding ceremony.

Where Javi awaited his bride...

Christian peeks out as Maria walks down the aisle.

The church acoustics were perfect for the 24-voice chorus, Voces de Toranzo. Sarito's son, Jose, is part of group (Toranzo is the valley in which the village of Soto-Iruz is located). The church was decorated with hydrangeas, which are abundant throughout the northern part of Spain. Maria, who resides in Madrid, wanted to celebrate her wedding in Cantabria; it was always a secret wish of my mother's to marry in El Convento.

And then we went to the reception in a nearby village called Villacarriedo at the Palacio de Sonanes.

We left the three little ones, Gaby, Simone, and Jojo, with Tata before heading off to the reception. There was a language barrier between Gaby and Tata, and I made the mistake of not having Gaby's favorite blue blanket on his bed. Tata later told us that Gaby cried much of the night and she described him telling her, "ka ta, ka ta, ka ta..." and then crying when she did not understand what he wanted. He never did warm up to poor Tata.

Because the pictures taken up to this point on my digital camara were erased...grrr...I am unable to share many more photos that I took of the food we ate, as well as pictures of friends and family at the reception.

Mike had arrived the day of the wedding because his flight had been CANCELLED the day before! He had to purchase a last minute ticket from Madrid to Santander and had no rest and was jet lagged. Somehow he managed to enjoy the evening, which lasted until 5:30 the next morning. The several whiskey cokes and Cuban cigars must've worked wonders; my Dad liked that side of Mike.

When we arrived to the reception, there were cocktails and hors d'oeuvres on the patio -- and what food! The best hams, chorizos, seafood, and cheeses kept coming round on trays. And then dinner was served around 10:30. The first entree was pistachio crusted pate with a center of membrillo (much like quince) -- Mike passed on that, so more for us! The second entree was a fabulous salad with a whole lobster -- Mike passed on that, oh but we were lucky to sit near him! The third entree was steak -- Mr. Meat and Potatoes was finally happy. Then the layered pastry cake was delicious, along with the sweets, coffee and liquers. Dinner ended around midnight, and then it was time for dancing! But first the fireworks; Javi is from Valencia and fireworks are traditional for weddings.

At 3:00 AM the chocolate con churros were served along with mini sandwiches (bocadillos). So much fun and good food. If ever you have a chance to attend a Spanish wedding, I highly recommend it. Mike said it was the best wedding he has ever been to and he told everyone as much -- after several whiskey cokes Mike was in Happy Land. Drinks are a 'personality enhancer' for him, but unfortunately the windy roads back to Soto did not agree with Mike and it was a rough reminder of all that he had consumed.

Javi and Maria's friends came from all over Spain, Europe, and beyond. Many comments were made about how much the pair of them meant to each one. A joyful celebration, indeed.

Mom and Dad's Anniversary Celebration

Forty years of marriage is a milestone, and my parents wanted to share it with all of us. They took us to a restaurant where we had a merienda in the evening with endless tapas in our own dining room. It was made more special because our cousins, aunt and uncle joined us. My uncle presented my parents with a lovely framed photo of her wedding and some nice words were shared about her "bravery". My mother married at the age of 22 by proxy to my father. My father could not afford to go back to Spain to attend the ceremony, so my uncle (my mom's brother) stood in for him at the wedding! My grandparents would absolutely not let her leave the country without first being married. She then bravely set off for America alone a few months later to meet my dad. I don't know many people who could do that either.

Then my brothers and I took my parents to El Oso restaurant a few days later in the beautiful mountains (Picos de Europa) near the town of Potes.

The hotel across from El Oso.

Some friendly Brits who travel annually through the mountains let Gaby check out their ride.

There is more to share, and since it is becoming harder to edit and paste photos onto this particular entry, I'll continue soon.

Resolution # 1 of ???

To date, I have approximately nine things to accomplish on my list of New Year's resolutions. The first, which I shall now unveil, should come as no surprise to anyone who knows me: I resolve to lose 30-40 pounds this year. Why, oh why do I go through these ups and downs with my weight? Well, I can blame this last gain on my pregnancies with Gaby and Jojo. Gaby was 11 months old when I found out I was pregnant again. Usually it takes me about a year after giving birth to feel like my old self, full of energy and ready to exercise. Those plans came to a screeching halt with little Jojo because I had not shed the last 20 or so pounds of pregnancy weight!

As I think back, I can pinpoint when I began to gain astronomical amounts of weight, and it started when I was 26 years old. Before then, I'd gain maybe between 5-10 pounds and be able to lose it in a reasonable amount of time. So maybe I've always had somewhat of a weight issue. But I remember my 26th year when I was living in Phoenix working insane hours at the newspaper. I did not own a scale or a full length mirror, but I knew I was getting bigger as I had to buy increasingly larger skirts, pantsuits, and jackets. One day there was an old-fashioned scale in one of the offices for some ridiculous health fair, and I got on it and almost fell off when I was startled to see that I'd put on 40 -- yes, FORTY -- pounds in a span of a year and a half! I was at the weight I am now, but for some reason I can accept it now since I have had children. At that time I did not have children and was shocked at how these pounds had crept up without my knowing it. I realized I was in denial.

Today I watched 'Oprah'. For weeks I've seen the commercials for today's show which focuses on her 40-pound weight gain since her fit days a few years ago, and I did not want to miss it. She was somewhat in denial about her gain, but she also had a thyroid problem diagnosed. Her trainer said that Oprah may have even used her thyroid problem as an excuse to give up on exercise and diet. But he also noticed she had been somewhat depressed, and Oprah later realized that she had been drained. She was drained because of her show and other commitments, and the worst part is she forgot to take care of herself.

I can understand becoming depressed when one is drained -- I get the blahs myself. However, later in the show there was discussion about not being fulfilled or happy as a reason for depression, and then my mind drifted after that. Sometimes in our culture I believe that we focus too much on our selves -- our happiness. We may not be happy for whatever number of reasons (jobs, stress at home, etc.), but we don't know how to accept our situation and make it better. I do not think that we need to be 'selfish', but we do need to take time to focus on what is affecting our loss of perspective. In the future if my job does not turn out to be the most fulfilling career, I know that what will continue to make me happy are my family, friends, and hobbies. In our culture, most of us rely on our jobs to give us fulfillment, happiness. We live to work, instead of working to live! It's not like that in places like Spain or other European countries. Note: If you are truly depressed then you have the right to be 'selfish' and take care of yourself; Your loved ones will be better for it.

When I have the blahs or feel so run down, I read or write to feel better. But I have to make the time for it and get to bed a reasonable hour to be a good, patient mom the next day. I make plans with a friend and my mood lifts, and I know that my children benefit from a happier mom. So onward I go on my quest to fulfill Resolution #1 on my list because I have an incentive to lose weight (and the pressure to do so):

My cousin Maria's wedding next summer! My family is very excited to attend. As of today, I've got six months to lose this weight. If I can lose between 25-30 pounds by then, that would be great.

My friend Tanya and I are going to walk at the mall two mornings a week starting on Wednesday. This is the time of year that I also want to buy every exercise video I see on infomercials, so I also look forward to my 'Bender Core' exercise ball which promises to get me in shape. Then I've got the oh-so-reliable Tae Bo videos which helped me get into shape after my 40-pound weight gain all those years ago in time to wear my wedding dress. I shall look for other exercise videos on Ebay as well. Now that I've told you about this resolution, I better do it! Oh, the pressure!

Happy New Year

Jojo and I just returned from Mass this morning, and Mike, Christian and Gaby are on their way to Utah. I look forward to a quiet couple days spent mostly with my parents, who are a lot of fun and company for me. I enjoy late night visits with them, and I will take advantage while I stay at their house over the next two nights. We are still debating whether or not to try and catch a ride on the Railrunner train which has a newly opened line to Santa Fe. The rides are free through this weekend, so we may have to wait until the trains are less full.

In the meantime, Daddy is taking the two older boys to visit many exciting sites in Utah! Gaby did not forget his beloved garbage truck, and Christian is taking along his Bakugans and assorted critters. We'll post pictures soon from their first road trip of 2009.

Jojo still has somewhat of a stomach virus and has been living on G2 Gatorade; minimal dairy; and eating only bananas, lean meats, and dry foods, and yet we are still having trouble returning his intestines to normal. Each time it seems he's better, I insert a little dairy or non fiber food into his diet and his stomach becomes out of whack again. He will be better soon, and I am fortunate to have a good pediatrician and nurse who return calls when there are problems.

As I take stock of this past year, I cannot help but be hopeful about the future. We have our health, Mike has a job, and we are close to my family. It was the year that I finally started writing regularly through blogging. It was also the year of Facebook and some pretty wonderful connections with old friends from over 20 years ago, to more recent friendships. Facebook has been such an exciting, innovative way to keep in touch with everyone from here to Spain (even throughout the day), and also with friends from other places that I used to live. It was also the year of reconnecting with friends here in my hometown who I had not seen either since I had left Albuquerque or for a few years in between. In addition to being able to see my regular close girlfriends, I also made a few new friends with some special neighbors. This time last year we had just moved back, Mike had yet to find a job, and we moved into the home that my parents found for us, for which I am eternally grateful. And the three boys went through some extraordinary growth and development. Jojo is no longer an infant; Gaby is talking, full of energy & soon to be potty trained, hopefully by the time he's three next month (ok, maybe it'll be earlier with Jojo); and Christian is a sweet boy who is into learning, puzzles, and games.

In the upcoming year I have some resolutions that I hope to follow through with, as always. I'll share some of those in the coming days or weeks.

I wish all of you a very Happy New Year filled with peace, joy, and love. I pray that our new incoming President will have a peaceful administration, one which respects life and all that it entails for the sake of Goodness, not Choice. For the sake of peace, not offense. For the sake of humility, not pride. Amen.

Sweet Sarito

Yesterday we received the news that our family's dear friend, Sarito, passed away. The last time I saw her was three years ago. That's a picture of Sarito, her husband, Mariano, and Christian. We are in the midst of planning our next trip with my whole family, and I had been excited about introducing my two youngest children to her. Although I attended my cousin Alberto's wedding in 2006, we were unable to go to northern Spain to see her last time. Sarito was a big part of our happy reunions, and it will never be the same without seeing her in the little village of Soto-Iruz.

Sarito raised eight children, and she was truly the heart and soul of her family. Everytime we saw her she would give us an update, "We are now 22 in the family!" My mom reminisced that that her life was like a novel. Without realizing that Sarito had such little time left in her life, some of her children were able to track down her long lost sister in France. They took her there for a visit last month. It was the first time she had seen her younger sister since Sarito was a child. Some of us need closure in our lives before our time is up, and we are happy that she got to have that.

We all loved her so much, and we shall miss our sweet Sarito always.