Bad Mom Week

Three little random vignettes:  First, I don't always join in my kids' reindeer games so they can learn a lesson. Second, I take all three to doctor appointments and grocery store errands because there is no alternative right now. Third, Christian perseveres through his hard homework assignment through tears as I, his mom, am having flu-like symptoms and want to call the assignment off.

Episode 1:

It's been a long week filled with doctor appointments, sick husband, sick children, and sick me.  Yesterday I went to the store with the kids after Gabriel's appointment to check on his ear (he'd had a burst ear drum and ear infection a couple weeks ago).  It's such fun to take three kids to the store, especially when they run around, fight, and/or play 'Me and My Shadow' behind my back.  I was not in the mood and I gave them fair warning before heading into Kroger.  Towards the end of our errand, Gaby and Christian thought it would be fun to 'hide' from me, but I decided it would be less stressful to pretend I didn't know they were hiding and continue shopping instead. I really should've been more concerned, but I figured if anyone got lost they'd learn a little lesson. I'd already scolded the boys and I just needed to finish shopping.

About 10 minutes later I heard over the intercom, "Can Uh-lay-nuh come to the cashier?"  I found Gaby sobbing with two Kroger employees by his side.  He told me it was Christian's fault he was lost.  How so, I asked.  "Because he was playing the hiding game!" I reminded him it was his fault he was lost; he shouldn't have strayed away from me to begin with.  By the way, it was not Gaby who sought out help. Two very attentive Kroger employees noticed him crying and asked if he was lost.

Episode 2:

A few nights ago I started to feel real woozy and feverish.  By 2:00 that afternoon I was ready to crawl into bed.  That evening Christian began work on some math word problems.  The more frustrated he became, the more exasperated I became.  It was a one-hour battle.  Finally I told him to put the homework away and leave it for the next morning.  This agitates Christian more than anything -- an unfinished assignment.  Oh no! It means he will be in trouble at school.  I explained, as patiently as I could, that I was tired and that he could complete it the next morning before school.  Then I lost it and took it away from him and proceeded upstairs to their room so I could put them to bed.  Poor Christian wanted to finish the homework, and out of sheer frustration and sadness he cried, "I'm an idiot!"  That got to me.  That really got to me.

So I hugged him and told him he is not dumb, he's just having trouble with this particular assignment and he'll get it. I told him that I had the same trouble in school when I was his age.  Some things took more time to learn and I used to feel pretty stupid, too.  I told him that I was going to help him learn different ways to solve problems.  Christian is a visual learner like me.  He needs drawings and charts to 'see' the answer and organize information, but like a young me, he sometimes gets caught up in using only one strategy to find a solution.  I remember my dad trying to show me different ways to solve problems, but if it was not exactly the way my teacher had shown us in class that very day, I worried that I was not doing it correctly.  I thought there was only one way to a solution. 

Christian told me he gets nervous about tests at school, and unfortunately, this is a life-long process.  Teachers measure kids to see not only what they know, but what they need help with.  So he completed his assignment and I praised him for his perseverance. He told me he was worried about moving "a clip" (used for discipline at school), and I told him that if we used clips in our house, I would've moved my own for the unfortunate way I reacted to Christian's frustration earlier in the evening.  He then spent the next hour with me downstairs for one of my "pep talks" that he seems to enjoy enduring.  This is the time we spend talking about life, how it's not fair at times, and why we are constantly tested by all things material and spiritual.

Episode 3: Awkward

Yesterday I had an appointment with a podiatrist to check on the annoying pain in my left foot. It's always a joy to go see a doctor with three kids in tow. I warned them not to clown around and they did ok, except when they fought over the water machine in the waiting room and fought over who got to sit in the round chair in the examination room.

Over the weekend Mike gave me a good foot massage, and I could only describe where the pain was as the doctor felt around the heel and arch of my foot for sore spots.  I assured the doctor that I was practically limping for the past several weeks and that the pain has been intermittent over the past couple years.  As he continued the exam he joked, "I'm not going to give you a free foot massage.." Ha ha. He really put his foot in his mouth...oh the foot puns that come to mind. Obviously, Mike had done a great job of stretching and kneading the tissue. 

I was given a steroid shot in the heel and told to come back in a couple weeks to see if the pain is completely gone.  Apparently I have plantar fascitis.  When the doctor left, Christian asked loudly, "Why was the doctor acting like your husband?  Is he a massage doctor?"   On the way out, Christian informed me that as we were walking towards the car, he peered into the window and saw the podiatrist.  Christian said, "I pointed at him and told him, 'You're a massage doctor!', and the doctor told me, 'I can hear you.'"  Oh boy, my follow up visit might be a little awkward in a couple weeks. I wish doctors' offices had waiting rooms for children so parents could complete their appointments in peace. 

Last evening as I was putting the boys to bed, Christian again joked about Dr. Massage. He said, "I should've told him my arm hurts so that he could massage it."  He asked me several times if I'd told Mike about this, and I assured him I had.  Christian double checked with Mike after he came back from his trip this afternoon. This doctor's appointment really seemed to bother Christian.  Perhaps, if the podiatrist had been a female it would not have struck Christian as something strange for someone to touch my foot in a similar way Mike does for me. I'm sure it had everything to do with the 'massage' comment, though.